Catfishing–We’re you caught or did you get away?

When thinking of catfish, my mind seemed to go to the slimy, unattractive bottom feeder fish that   we would throw back when fishing, unless nothing else was biting. Well, I have learned about a different type of catfishing that is much different, dangerous and common. One that many women fall victim too.

Channel Catfish – Photo Timothy Lack

With the popularity of social networking sites, it has enabled us to keep in touch with friends and family worldwide, as well as broaden our own network of friends. In doing that, it is easy to accept people as friends because they appear to have mutual acquaintances our look nice.

In my case, friend requests had to be someone I knew or have quite a few mutual acquaintances. Then, I eased up to only a few mutual acquaintances. That was my mistake.

I have always gotten many private messages saying, “Hello Dear,” “Hi, l would like to know you better,” etc. I just ignored them. About nine months ago, someone sounded especially nice, and I replied. Then, after five or six messages, he was in love. I put a quick end to that– much to rapid to be real–fishy. But, I missed the chat. So when another especially interesting man approached, I responded. Again, this took six or eight messages, but he was willing to move anywhere and knew I was exactly the right choice. Another ending and now, on to number three. He supposedly was from my area, but I could tell from language he wasn’t. When I told him he was young enough to be my son, it didn’t matter, but it did to me. This was really fishy.

Then comes number four, the final “friend.” He supposedly was from the UK. That was fine with me. I like long distance relationships–you get to know someone over time and finally meet. I was sharing how much I enjoyed my conversation with this individual with a close friend, my niece, my daughter-in-law, etc. My niece said she was going to check him out and I was fine with that. My daughter-in-law said to be careful. I would be, of course. There is no way I would send anyone money or share private information.

Well, my son discovered what I was doing and started his investigation. Unfortunately for him, he started it late at night and it kept him up. My nice friendly Englishman was not who he said and from the Middle East.

The next morning, my son called and had me go to my computer. I Googled the individual’s supposed real name and then clicked on “images.” His photos popped up all over. Unfortunately, I think this man’s identity was stolen as well.

Then, my son had me Google “catfishing.”

I never realized what a scam it was. Whereas I was not hurt or taken advantage of monetarily, I discovered many who were.

I immediately blocked the latest fisherman and decided I cannot accept any more friends I don’t know–much to my son’s relief.

When discussing this further with several women I know, there was a case of one knowing someone who was taken advantage of a little at a time that added up to $11,000, and others who knew of friends who had terrible experiences.

After reading several “catfishing” horror stories online and hearing some, I decided to share my experience. Whereas I had enjoyed the attention and conversation, I have no desire to converse with scam artists who are out to take advantage of people. Life is to short to waste my time that way. Plus, as much as I believe I would be to smart to be taken advantage of in one of these situations, one is better to be safe than sorry. So, this cat is not going to be caught.

If you have an experience you want to share on this topic, please comment. Please be careful with the friends you meet on line. I like to think “What’s good about everyone.” That is careless thinking with online acquaintances. Tread carefully, and be the fish that gets away.

Images: by Timothy Lack, a longtime friend and my webmaster. I told Tim I needed a couple of photos of catfish and he went out and caught these. After he took the photos, the hooks were removed and they were returned to their home in good health.

Author: Maralyn

Maralyn Dennis Hill, The Epicurean Explorer, is president emeritus of International Food Wine & Travel Writers Association, member of Society of American Travel Writers, and Society of Professional Journalists. She is Executive Editor of Luxe Beat Magazine and contributes to other publications. She also speaks and is a guest on many shows. The majority of Maralyn’s articles are now geared to the luxury market, spas, corporate retreats, business events, and culinary tourism, from simple to gourmet. Maralyn’s description of herself: I was born to travel and tell the tale. I’m energized by different cultures in every aspect of their lives, from food, wine, and destination, to how they conduct business. Travel represents a continual geography lesson.